Coffee Talk: Sometimes I Wonder

 Sometimes I wonder…

• Are you really as busy as you say you are or are you just trying to find a way to slowly pull away and ghost me?
• Do you really like me and want to try this or were you just bored in quarantine and wanted something fun for a moment?
• What did I say to you when I was drunk that night? All I can think is that it’s bad since you won’t tell me and each day we talk less and less.
• If it’s so easy for you to go golfing with your friends, are you roommates really that fussy over you going and hanging out with people? Or are you using them as an excuse to get out of spending time with me?
• Are you talking to other people? I know we’re not exclusive. And yeah, it’s hypocritical of me to not want you talking to other people when I am. But are you? Would you tell me if you were? And do you even care that I am?
• You tell me, “you’re not getting me anything for my birthday! You do enough for me,” but is that really the reason you don’t want a gift? Or is it because you don’t want to feel like you owe me and have to stick around after?
• If you really mean what you say to me. You say you want to see me and spend time with me, but I see you twice a month if I’m lucky. Even then, you’re never the one trying to make plans. It’s always me asking to hang out, to see you, to ask if you can even come over just to spend the night. I suggested we have dates at the park or going to the beach if that would be better with your roommates. You said it’s worth a shot, but you haven’t bothered to try to make plans for it.
• If you want to end things, but don’t want to be the seen as “bad guy” for doing so.
• If you regret hitting me up and starting things with me.
• If you realize just how crazy I am about you. How much I’m starting to like you. If I’m crazy for feeling this way when it doesn’t seem like you feel that sometimes.
• How many more moments I have left with you? How many more conversations, texts, hugs and kisses, cuddles. How many more do I have left before you leave.