Coffee Talk: Back to Normal

D and M came back from Maryland and I didn’t realize just how much I missed them. They’re my people – my rock.

 

I’m not close with my family. I’ve tried to be, but ever since the blow out, it’s hard. I can’t ignore blatant wrongs that occurred. I’m still be polite, but there’s a level of respect that’s been lost and who knows if it can ever be regained. Sure, my dad would make sure I ate dinner – though sometimes I wish he would let me be instead of trying to force food at me. Like homie, let me and my disorder repair on its own.

 

With D and M back, things are almost back to normal. Or well, normal between us – some things won’t ever be the same.

 

We’re back on our shit. Car karaoke sessions. Multiple trips to Target because we go and forget something. Losing M in said Target trips because she’s not paying attention. Attempting to get M to decide on a place to grab food and failing. Movie nights. And overall, just being able to chill with them in their room.

 

Having them back has made me realize that I’m a strong and independent woman because they’re some of the main people who have been supporting me every step of the way. They’ve helped me learn that I can do things on my own. Take building furniture or assembling items. I’m not a handy person, but I bought a little cart for my room and they believed in my ability to build it. Sure, I needed M’s help holding pieces while I screwed it together, but I did the majority of it on my own. They’ve helped instill that confidence in myself to tackle small assembly tasks. Or cooking. I great at making something out of a box, but I usually rely on D to handle the real prep work. While they were gone though, I was able to cook myself meals five times a week for an entire month. The meals weren’t Top Chef or out of this world, but they sustained me.

 

While their month away was difficult and lonely for me, it taught me that I can be okay on my own. That I can survive, and I will survive when they decide to travel again. Though, hopefully that’s not any time soon.