Coffee Talk: Choose Your Team

There are three places to be in the Lee clan:

1.    Team Dad

2.     Team Mom

3.     Team No One

Let’s break it down.

Coffee Talk: Fairytales

Once upon a time…

When I heard that as a child, I knew I was in for a good old fairytale. One about a damsel in distress, a villain, and a prince who saves the day. Fairytales made me believe in “happily ever after’s” and Prince Charming. Society reinforced this idea.

Fairytales taught me that a knight in shining armor would always rescue the girl. Society taught me that a man should be able to provide for his family. Both taught me that the man should treat his partner like a queen or king. Things have changed though.

The damsel in distress can also be the knight in shining armor. It’s okay for the female to provide for the family. A girl doesn’t need a man to be the queen she was born to be.

The independent part of me says, “hell yeah! I don’t need a man to treat me like the queen I know I am. I am more than capable of slaying my own dragons.” The hopeless romantic in me says, “but I want him to.” And that’s what I’ve been struggling with these past eight months.

All my life, I’ve had people treat me like the princess I’d been taught about through fairytales and societal expectations. I was spoiled and accustomed to it. When I started dating again, I realized not everyone thinks the same way as me. Suddenly I’m having to open my own doors on dates. Pull out my own chair. Carry my own bags. Either walk faster to keep up or accept that I’ll always be a step behind. Be the first to reach out. These small things may be the norm for some, but not to me. To me, this new dating experience is a whole new world.

These experiences have made me feel like romance is dead and like I’ve been living in a fairytale. J told me otherwise. She said, “I don’t think it’s completely dead. There are some guys out there that will go above and beyond for you. I know he’s out there!” And she’s right.

I need to have faith that God has my Prince Charming out there somewhere trekking along in his own storyline until our paths meet. The man God has for me will treat me like a princess, but also understand that I am capable of taking care of myself.

He will open doors and pull out chairs. If I have a lot of bags, he’ll carry them even though he knows I’m strong enough to carry them myself. When we go out, he will offer to pay but also be okay if we split or take turns picking up the check. When we’re walking, he’ll walk beside me at a neutral pace for the two of us. When it’s crowded, he’ll hold my hand to guide me. He will send me random texts or call me to let me know he’s thinking of me and misses me.

All these little things that may be trivial to some but mean a great deal to me, he’ll do and not because I expect it or because society says so. He’ll do them because he cares. And sure, maybe it’s silly to expect these things. But maybe it’s also okay to still want them. I mean, is it wrong to want to be swept off my feet? To believe in “happily ever after?” Because if it is, then I guess I’ll be waiting forever for my Prince to come.

Coffee Talk: Dear Boys

Musicians have their songs. I’m not a singer or lyricist. Laura Jean had her letters. I can write.

These are mine.

Dear first kiss,

You kissed me during recess, over the railings where our classrooms met. You had kissed plenty of girls and everyone knew it. I hadn’t kissed anyone yet. Everyone knew I had a crush on you, but you were indifferent. You stole my first kiss all because you couldn’t take a little teasing from your bros. Thank you for being the first boy to make me feel like my feelings didn’t matter.

Glow Up: Cleaning Up

Change isn’t necessarily an easy path to take. If it were, people would be changing aspects of their lives all the time. Physical, mental, emotional, financial, etc. – I’ve been trying to make changes in my life for years now. This year, I want to stop saying “I’ll change” and actually do it.

Number 1: Go cruelty-free and clean.

Now let me clarify what I mean by going cruelty-free and clean. For me, right now I want to start by taking small steps. Beauty wise, I will be shopping from cruelty-free brands – if they end up being vegan then that’s even better. Skincare, I want to be more in-depth and go with brands that are cruelty-free and clean.