Coffee Talk: July Thoughts

Thoughts I’ve had recently:

1. Do I splurge and buy that $651 vanity? I don’t need a new vanity, but this one looks so sleek and sophisticated. It has a built-in section on the tabletop that would be perfect to hold my skincare products. There are two drawers that I can store backup products, makeup, hair-ties and scrunchies, and other miscellaneous items. But $651. Is it really worth it?
   
   
2. Should I buy a new bookcase? My current one is fine, but it doesn’t really match the rest of my furniture and that kind of bugs me. I’d also like a bookcase with option for storage to hold files, important documents, bills, etc. But again, like the vanity, does I really need it right now?
   
   
3. Am I in the right frame of mind to start working out on a regular basis again? I want to say recovery is going well, but that’s a lie – I mean I had that lapse a few weekends ago. If I start working out, will I be able to recognize when to stop and when I’ve gone too far? I’m scared that if I start working out regularly again that I’m going to slip back into old habits of over doing it to lose weight and stay “skinny.” My therapists say that I won’t know till I try, but when do I know I’m ready to try? How do I know?
   
   
4. Is it better to be open with my mom about my relationship with C, or is it better to let her live in a state of denial? I mean she said it herself, I’m an adult and I’m free to make my own decisions. At the same time though, I’ll still always be her little girl – her baby. I mean, I’m 95% sure she knows what’s going on, but like when she talks to me about it, it’s like she beats around the bush. So, does she want me to confirm or deny what she speculates? Do I tell the truth or lie?
   
   
5. When is this pandemic going to end? Selfishly speaking, I love the fact that I get to WFH now, because there’s no commute anymore, but I miss weekly dinners with my friends. Also, it’s really putting a damper on my dating life with C. His roommates don’t know me and therefore don’t trust me. It basically means he has to sneak around to see me like we’re stupid hormonal teens – it’s ridiculous. I’m selfish, but I need everyone to start taking this virus seriously so that we can have our lives back – so that I can have my life back.
   
   
6. Sometimes when we talk, I feel stupid. We have such different interests and I’m trying to learn about yours. I’m not an athletic or sporty person so when you mention golf or volleyball, something related to your workouts or your physical therapy I’m completely lost. I want to be able to hold the conversation with you, but I feel so lost and stupid. I don’t understand the terms you use, and I feel like a child having to stop you to explain it to me. I apologize for being clueless and offer to read up on the topics to understand you more. You just laugh it off and tell me it’s fine. I wonder if it really is though. I wonder if you find me annoying.