Coffee Talk: Fairytales

Once upon a time…

When I heard that as a child, I knew I was in for a good old fairytale. One about a damsel in distress, a villain, and a prince who saves the day. Fairytales made me believe in “happily ever after’s” and Prince Charming. Society reinforced this idea.

Fairytales taught me that a knight in shining armor would always rescue the girl. Society taught me that a man should be able to provide for his family. Both taught me that the man should treat his partner like a queen or king. Things have changed though.

The damsel in distress can also be the knight in shining armor. It’s okay for the female to provide for the family. A girl doesn’t need a man to be the queen she was born to be.

The independent part of me says, “hell yeah! I don’t need a man to treat me like the queen I know I am. I am more than capable of slaying my own dragons.” The hopeless romantic in me says, “but I want him to.” And that’s what I’ve been struggling with these past eight months.

All my life, I’ve had people treat me like the princess I’d been taught about through fairytales and societal expectations. I was spoiled and accustomed to it. When I started dating again, I realized not everyone thinks the same way as me. Suddenly I’m having to open my own doors on dates. Pull out my own chair. Carry my own bags. Either walk faster to keep up or accept that I’ll always be a step behind. Be the first to reach out. These small things may be the norm for some, but not to me. To me, this new dating experience is a whole new world.

These experiences have made me feel like romance is dead and like I’ve been living in a fairytale. J told me otherwise. She said, “I don’t think it’s completely dead. There are some guys out there that will go above and beyond for you. I know he’s out there!” And she’s right.

I need to have faith that God has my Prince Charming out there somewhere trekking along in his own storyline until our paths meet. The man God has for me will treat me like a princess, but also understand that I am capable of taking care of myself.

He will open doors and pull out chairs. If I have a lot of bags, he’ll carry them even though he knows I’m strong enough to carry them myself. When we go out, he will offer to pay but also be okay if we split or take turns picking up the check. When we’re walking, he’ll walk beside me at a neutral pace for the two of us. When it’s crowded, he’ll hold my hand to guide me. He will send me random texts or call me to let me know he’s thinking of me and misses me.

All these little things that may be trivial to some but mean a great deal to me, he’ll do and not because I expect it or because society says so. He’ll do them because he cares. And sure, maybe it’s silly to expect these things. But maybe it’s also okay to still want them. I mean, is it wrong to want to be swept off my feet? To believe in “happily ever after?” Because if it is, then I guess I’ll be waiting forever for my Prince to come.

Coffee Talk: Dear Boys

Musicians have their songs. I’m not a singer or lyricist. Laura Jean had her letters. I can write.

These are mine.

Dear first kiss,

You kissed me during recess, over the railings where our classrooms met. You had kissed plenty of girls and everyone knew it. I hadn’t kissed anyone yet. Everyone knew I had a crush on you, but you were indifferent. You stole my first kiss all because you couldn’t take a little teasing from your bros. Thank you for being the first boy to make me feel like my feelings didn’t matter.

Glow Up: Cleaning Up

Change isn’t necessarily an easy path to take. If it were, people would be changing aspects of their lives all the time. Physical, mental, emotional, financial, etc. – I’ve been trying to make changes in my life for years now. This year, I want to stop saying “I’ll change” and actually do it.

Number 1: Go cruelty-free and clean.

Now let me clarify what I mean by going cruelty-free and clean. For me, right now I want to start by taking small steps. Beauty wise, I will be shopping from cruelty-free brands – if they end up being vegan then that’s even better. Skincare, I want to be more in-depth and go with brands that are cruelty-free and clean.

Pumpkin Patch Plaid - Fall Fashion 2017

🎃 Happy Halloween! 🎃

At the end of September I found out that one of the pumpkin patches in the O.C. area - Tanaka Farms - was having a special Sanrio themed pumpkin patch. Growing up a stereotypical Asian who was obsessed with all things Sanrio, I knew I had to visit. This was the first time that I have gone to a pumpkin patch since I was a child and I was stoked.

Photography by @iimomogutierrezii (Momo)

Needless to say, I had to have the perfect outfit because pumpkin patches make the perfect backdrop for any fall Instagram post. Luckily for me I saw a cute plaid dress at Urban Outfitters that I immediately fell in love with. The classic square neckline mixed with the forest green and navy blue plaid print had me feeling like I could have hung out with Cher and Dionne in the movie Clueless. More specifically, I could have been apart of that one scene where Cher is rocking a yellow plaid skirt with matching jacket while Dionne is sporting a black and white plaid set.

Photography by @iimomogutierrezii (Momo)

Unfortunately, the day I decided to go was maybe not the best. First of all I went on a Sunday so it was packed with people trying to get early pickings at the pumpkins. Secondly, it was one of the hottest weekends of October - roughly in the high 90's to low 100's - not necessarily ideal weather conditions when you're going to be outdoors with hardly any covering. Sadly due to all the heat - both the weather and all the bodies - I didn't end up staying long to really look at everything the patch had to offer. I scoured for the perfect pumpkin, or two, and was on my way.

Thanks to my friend* I was able to snag some pictures as well. So in the end I guess it was a win-win. Cute pumpkin: check. Some photos to remember the day: check. A new outfit: check.

Now I know for next year what to do and what not to do. Go on a day predicted to be cooler weather, drink lots of water in advance, and bring a hat to cover myself from the sun.

Photography by @iimomogutierrezii (Momo)

Outfit Details:

• Dress: UO Straight-Neck Plaid Mini Dress in Green Multi - $59.00
• Bracelets: 
• La Meno Chain Bracelet with Green Agate - $28.00
• La Meno Chain Bracelet with Real Pearl - $28.00
• Backpack: Kate Spade Somerville Road Megyn in Rum Raisin - no longer available
• Boots: Soho Cobbler Sunflower Side Buckle Suede Boots in Black - $64.99

*All photos were taken by my friend Momo and edited by me. Momo currently doesn't have a photography account, but you can check out some of her work on Instagram @iimomogutierrezii

Currently Loving: 2017 Summer

Another summer gone, and once again I’ve been MIA. I’d like to say that work has kept me away from posting, but if I’m being honest I’ve just been quite uninspired. This past week I was catching up on videos from some of my favorite YouTubers and I realized that it was already that time of the month that many of them release their “monthly favorites” videos. While watching some of these “monthly favorites" videos I thought why not give it a go. Then I realized I didn’t really try out that many new things in August that I can say I loved, but I did a decent amount over the course of the summer. So let’s go with that. My current obsessions from summer 2017. Let’s go!

Searching for the Best Dry Shampoo

It’s my favorite time of year and I’m not talking about all the amazing holidays. I’m talking about SUMMER! I can never narrow down the exact thing that makes summer my favorite. Maybe it’s being able to comfortably wear shorts and tank tops without a jacket, or the sun on my skin. It could be the sweet taste of a juicy watermelon on a scorching day. Or maybe it’s as simple as the fact that I was born a summer baby.

Despite all the amazing things that summer brings, if there was one thing that I could do without is how it only makes my oil-prone hair more… oily. Disgusting, I know, but it’s the ugly truth. Through my teens and college years I used to wash my hair every day to combat the oils from building up too much. Since then I’ve learned to embrace my hair’s natural oils and only wash my hair three times a week – Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday. Once those summer months hit, everything goes up in the air. As much as I love the warm weather, sometimes the oil builds up so quickly that it becomes unbearable. To combat the oils while still adhering to my strict hair routine, I either throw on a hat, put my hair in a messy bun, or douse my hair in dry shampoo.

Monthly Music: Favorite Kpop Releases for 2016 June

Hi everyone! Summer's already half-way over, which means that summer break is almost over too. Or is it? I've been out of high school for about six years and college for two years so I'm out of the loop when it comes to school breaks. When I was a student I always found school breaks to pass by quickly and summer always went by the fastest because I was busy working and involved in marching band. There's a fun tidbit about me - yes I was in marching band for all four years of high school. Anyways, let's get back on topic: June's Kpop playlist.