As I draw close upon my graduation from college, it has come to hit me that in a few short months I'll be expected to be a full-time working and contributing individual to society. No more going out with friends and grabbing lunch on a whim. No more one-class-a-day schedules and empty afternoons spent in front of my computer. No more spending money whenever I please. No more dependency! Graduating means growing up and being responsible for every action and decision I make. That means getting a full-time job, managing money by sticking to a strict budget, early nights, and more productive time management.
In high school, adulthood was something I couldn't wait to enter. No more curfews and restrictions. No more having to hear my parents telling me "you can't do that" or "you can't wear that." No more feeling caged and locked down. I would finally be free! That meant I could finally do all the things I'd only dreamed of doing. Little did I know "adulthood" wasn't all fun and games like I thought it would be. Now that I'm older, and somewhat wiser, I've realized just how much responsibility comes with being an adult.
Today
I was able to grab lunch with a high school friend who goes to college near me.
As we were catching up over lunch we started talking about how excited we are
to be graduating. The more we talked the more real the thought became. In less
than 100 days I'll be a college graduate! It's exciting, yet frightening.
Exciting in the sense that I'll be pursuing my dreams of becoming a writer for
a magazine. Frightening to realize that soon I'll have to be 100% dependent on
myself and not my family.
For
the majority of my life I've been taken care of by my family. While my family
may be unhealthy and unstable at times, I can't deny that there was always
someone watching out for me. Even now I'm a 21-year-old, college student living
with her father and being 80% dependent on her family. While I pay for all my
own indulgences - clothes, makeup, lunch dates, Starbucks runs, etc. - I rely
on my father to pay for all living expenses. It saddens me to realize that
while I thought I was prepared to enter the "real world," I'm
actually nowhere close to being ready. It frightens me to know that I've yet to
find a job for when I graduate, I don't know where I'll live, and - most
frighteningly - I don't know what the future holds. And while I wish I could
freeze time or rewind back to my high school days, I know that the only thing I
can do for now is remain positive.
If
there's one thing I could have told myself 4 years ago when I was a newly high
school graduate, it would be "Welcome to Adulthood."
No comments:
Post a Comment