Coffee Talk: What Now

Things at home have always been tumulus and rocky, but the past week launched the dynamic into a whole new atmosphere. Despite how tense things would get a home, I was sure that we could always work through it. Maybe not completely, but we could at least exist somewhat peacefully. Given the current events that have occurred, I don’t think know if we can continue on this path that we’ve been gingerly walking.

 

I’ve always been clear about not wanting to choose sides between my family. I hate hearing them scream and argue with one another. All my life, I’ve done my best to make myself scarce whenever a fight broke out at home. Sure, I would give my opinions when asked, but I would try to see things from both sides. I don’t think I remain neutral in this new territory we’re in though. In this fight, there’s a clear indication of who was in the wrong – there’s no excuse to be made. No way defense to be used.

 

While both parties are taking the appropriate time to get away and let things cool down, I’m not sure there’s a way to fix what has transpired. We were already walking on a wobbly bridge, and now we’re on tightropes. The optimistic and naïve side of me had always hoped that we could make things work no matter what. Reality has slapped me so hard that now I can’t deny that we were holding a ticking time bomb just waiting for the explosion. Well, it looks like we’ve run out of time – and boy was it an explosion. There’s no way we can fully heal from the damage caused. We have to find a new way to move on.

 

I’ve started making plans to put myself in a better and healthier situation, but that’s a “long term” goal so to speak. What do I do in the meantime? Things are definitely not going to be the same and there’s zero chance of it going back to how they used to be. The things said made sure of that. I’ll continue to keep my opinions to myself unless asked. I’ll be polite and cordial, but there’s no denying that there’s a level of respect that’s been lost. So, the question that remains, is where do I go from here?