Coffee Talk: Jaded

Here’s something I realized the other day: society has really fucked me up. Things are so backwards or confusing. What once would have been considered normal is now a rarity or anomaly.

Take the terms beautiful and gorgeous for example. Instead of being told I’m beautiful or gorgeous it’s always “oh you’re so cute,” “damn you’re hot,” or “you look sexy in that.” Until the other night I literally hadn’t been told I was beautiful and gorgeous in probably ages. Conversely, I can’t think of the last time I referred to a guy as handsome. What’s happened to make things change so much? Words that were once used all the time as a person’s physical description has become almost obsolete. It’s almost as if we’ve become so wrapped up in the “lust” aspect of the outer physical appearances that we’ve stopped appreciating a person’s beauty.

Another thing that has me fucked up is the phrase “Netflix and chill.” Every time a guy invites me over to watch a movie or to hang, I’m immediately wondering if there an underlying expectation of sex. If not on the first hang, is it expected one the second or third? If nothing happens does that mean he doesn’t find me attractive? It’s stupid, but that’s not necessarily the case. I mean hello, they could actually be a gentleman who respects me and not just some fuck-boy looking for a quickie. Maybe I’m jaded, but I’d started to believe that people were out here looking purely for sex. I couldn’t possibly fathom that there were still people out here looking for genuine connections.

Lastly, the idea of someone other than my friends and family wanting to buy me something just because. They don’t want anything in exchange, aren’t expecting me to sleep with them or buy them something in return. They literally just want to get me something nice. This idea is crazy to me – like who does that? This random act of kindness baffles me and it’s sad. I feel we could all learn to be a bit more generous and kinder to one another. I’m not saying let’s all buy random people we may know gifts and spoilt them, but maybe pay for the next person’s coffee at drive thru, give someone flowers if you know they’ve been going through something, or extend a virtual hug. It’s the little things that can help someone more than you know.

I guess at the end of the day what I’m trying to say is that I need to readjust my thinking. I need to not be so jaded against society and try to remember that not everyone is bad. If God created us all I’d like to believe He made us all to be innately good at our core and that some of us have just strayed from that “good” path. And hey, maybe I’m one of those people and maybe I just need to find my way back. Who knows. What I do know is that I can try to be better, kinder, more generous towards others.