Coffee Talk: Black Lives Matter

In light of recent events, I wanted to share my thoughts on the protests going on. Now please bear in mind that I am still trying to educate myself, and in a way, will always still be learning about the struggles that black people face. I apologize if I offend anyone, but I simply want to give an insight into my perspective on things.

Now, I’m not blind to racism. My family was good about making sure I understood how to recognize it and teaching me to stand up for myself and others if I see it happening. Though I am a minority and have faced slight racism growing up, it’s nothing compared to what the black community has had to face their entire lives. Sure, I’ve been called “chink” and had people mock me in “Asian” accents, but I don’t think that’s nearly the same as the things the black community has faced. I’ve never had to fear for my life from authority figures or even regular people. Maybe recently in light of the coronavirus, but even then, not to the extent that black people deal with on the daily basis since forever.

Coffee Talk: Jaded

Here’s something I realized the other day: society has really fucked me up. Things are so backwards or confusing. What once would have been considered normal is now a rarity or anomaly.

Take the terms beautiful and gorgeous for example. Instead of being told I’m beautiful or gorgeous it’s always “oh you’re so cute,” “damn you’re hot,” or “you look sexy in that.” Until the other night I literally hadn’t been told I was beautiful and gorgeous in probably ages. Conversely, I can’t think of the last time I referred to a guy as handsome. What’s happened to make things change so much? Words that were once used all the time as a person’s physical description has become almost obsolete. It’s almost as if we’ve become so wrapped up in the “lust” aspect of the outer physical appearances that we’ve stopped appreciating a person’s beauty.

Coffee Talk: Staying Afloat

It’s day #unknown of quarantine. I miss my friends terribly.

I do miss them terribly and though we stay in touch, it’s not the same. I miss our weekly dinners and being able to hug them. I didn’t realize how little I took those dinners for granted.

Nothing prepared me to know that the last time I saw K and M at Chan Chan’s would be the last time I’d be able to hug them for a long time. If I had known I would have suggested that we get dessert or head to Spectrum and window shop. Anything to spend a few extra moments with them.

With the majority of us being summer babies, I’d had hoped that quarantine would be over by now. The closer it draws to June, the less hopeful I am that I’ll be able to celebrate M and mine’s birthday with them like I’d become accustomed to. It sucks, but now I’m just hoping that we’ll be able to celebrate K’s birthday in July. If this can all just be over in July that would be grand. We’d still have to celebrate K and August to celebrate A. We’d have two months left of summer to enjoy in the sun together. I just need to hope for the best.

Coffee Talk: Lessons from Mom and Popo

Today is Mother’s Day. What better way to honor the Mother’s around the world than to share the five biggest lessons from the Mother’s in my life. This one is for the two women who raised me: my Mom and my Popo.

1. Skincare is important: Every morning and every evening my Popo would stand in the front of the bathroom mirror and go through her skincare routine. It went face wash, face cream, powder, lip stick or lip balm, body lotion. It was no elaborate 7-step routine, but it worked for her. She never missed a day. She’s the one who got me to pay attention to my skincare. She bought me lotions and creams – all of which led me to where I am today in my own skincare routine.
2. Makeup doesn’t define my beauty: Growing up, I was never allowed to wear makeup with the exception for band competitions and prom. On the day-to-day basis, I was lucky to even be allowed to wear lip gloss – a feat that took lots of begging and assistance from my Popo to convince my mom to let me do. While I didn’t understand my mother’s stance on makeup when I was a teen, I get it now. She was teaching me to be comfortable in my own skin. She didn’t want me to feel the need to have makeup to feel beautiful. Now that I’m older, I still don’t wear makeup on a daily basis. That isn’t to say I’m confident in my looks, rather that I know it isn’t necessary. At the end of the day, with or without makeup I know that to someone out there, I am beautiful. We all are.
   

Coffee Talk: Change

Change. Why is it that change can be so easy one moment and then difficult the next?

Throughout life we go through many changes – some easier than others. The way I see it, there are four levels of change.

Level 1: Changes that naturally happen without us having to think about it. For instance, your height. You don’t have to do anything in order to grow – it just naturally happens because it’s what the human body does.

Level 2: Optional changes. Things like cutting your hair, changing fashion styles, deciding to take a vacation, etc. These changes are all decisions you make, but don’t require much effort. Maybe a little bit of back and forth in your head, but you can make a decision and be happy with it.

Level 3: Changes you might not necessarily want to make, but you know you should. Perhaps your doctor advises you to cut back on the soda and junk food. You love soda and junk food, but you know they given advice is for the better of your health, so you cut down on your intake. You aren’t necessarily doing it because you’re happy about it, but rather because you know it’s what will make your body happy.

And finally, level 4.